Marriage Pros, Cons, Prospects
Gay/Straight Dilemmas
Non-Straights
Of 194 countries, 21 by springtime 2017 allowed marriage between people
of the same sex—whatever that might happen to be, another issue influx.
Hopping on same-sex marriage enshrined in law bandwagon—lawmakers succumbing
to tribal pressure, politicians pandering to narrow interests and short-term satisfactions
careless of consequences— were the Netherlands, Belgium (2003), Spain (2005),
Canada (2005), South Africa (2006), Norway (2009), Sweden (2009), Argentina
(2010), Iceland (2010), Portugal (2010), Denmark (2012), Uruguay (2013), New
Zealand (2013), Brazil (2013), France (2013), Luxembourg (2014), Finland
(2014), Ireland (2015), the United States (2015), Colombia (2016), Bermuda
(2017), Malta (2017), Germany (2017), Austria (2017), and Australia (2017); and
in some jurisdictions of Mexico and the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales
not Northern Ireland).
The nonprofit group ProCon a while back compiled some pros and cons in
response to the question “Should Gay Marriage Be legal?”
Religions and taxpayer arguments aside, I found the CONS compelling
though often unarticulated and unacknowledged amidst the illogical clamor for “acceptance”
(validation) as “different” and simultaneously
access as “the same” or “just like.”
ON 9 (excerpt)
“Gay marriage will accelerate the assimilation of gays into mainstream
heterosexual culture to the detriment of the homosexual community.… By reducing the differences in opportunities
and experiences between gay and heterosexual people, this unique culture may
cease to exist.”
“‘…[F]or many gay activists ‘marriage means adopting heterosexual forms
of family and giving up distinctively gay family forms and perhaps even gay and
lesbian culture.’” [Director of the Center for Public Policy and Administration,
University of Massachusetts-Amherst and lesbian activist M.V. Lee Badgett, PhD]
“‘Marriage runs contrary to two of the primary goals of the lesbian and
gay movement: the affirmation of gay identity and culture and the validation of
many forms of relationships.’” [Professor of Law and Women’s Studies, Paula
Ettelbrick JD (1989)]
[Pro 9 Counter: “Gay couples make good parents”]
ON 10 (excerpt)
“Marriage is an outmoded, oppressive institution that should be
weakened, not expanded.”
“‘Gay marriage apes hetero privilege… [and] increases economic
inequality by perpetuating a system which deems married beings more worthy of
the basics like health care and economic rights.’” [LGBT activist collective
Against Equality]
“‘We expose the institution of marriage as one of the most insidious
and basic sustainers of the system. The family is the microcosm of oppression.’”
[Gay Liberation Front (New York) leaders, July 1969]
“[T]he campaign for gay marriage ‘intentionally and maliciously erases
and excludes so many queer people and cultures, particularly trans and gender
non-conforming people, poor queer people, and queer people in non-traditional
families… marriage thinks non-married people are deviant and not truly
deserving of civil rights.’” [Anders Zanichkowsky, self-described queer
activist, June 2013]
[Pro 10 Counter: “Gay marriage bans cause humiliation and uncertainty
for children being raised by same-sex couples.”
ON 12 (excerpt)
“Marriage is a privilege. Not a right. The Constitution of the United
States contains no explicit right to marry.
“The European Court of Human Rights ruled on June 24, 2010, that the state has a valid interest in protecting the traditional definition of marriage …, the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms (having) ‘enshrined the traditional concept of marriage as being between a man and a woman.’
“Society can choose not to allow same-sex couples to marry, just as it
does not allow a person to marry more than one partner or allow minors or close
relatives to marry.”
[Pro 12 Counter: “Legalizing gay marriage will not harm the institution
of marriage, and same-sex marriages may even be more stable than heterosexual
marriages.”]
ON 14 (excerpt)
“Civil unions and domestic partnerships can provide the protections and
benefits gay couples need without changing the definition of marriage.
“Privileges available to couples in civil unions and domestic
partnerships can include health insurance benefits, inheritance without a will,
the ability to file state taxes jointly, and hospital visitation rights.
“Civil unions are adequate as an equivalent to marriage for same-sex
couples: ‘Benefits are being bestowed to gay couples [in civil unions]… I
believe we need to respect those who believe that the word marriage has a
spiritual foundation… Why can’t we respect and tolerate that while at the same
time saying government cannot bestow benefits unequally’” [Former
Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina].
“‘I don'’t think we should deny people rights to a civil union, a legal
arrangement, if that’s what a state chooses to do so… I strongly believe that
marriage ought to be defined as a union between a man and a woman. (However) … states
ought to be able to … pass laws that enable people to be able to have rights
like others’” [then- U.S. President George W. Bush].
[Pro 14 counter: “Legal marriage is a secular institution that should
not be limited by religious objections to same-sex marriage.”
urrently Churning
November 2, 2018 Inside Europe: Gay marriage and the Czech Republic
“A bill has been submitted to the Czech parliament that would introduce
full marriage equality into the legal code.”
November 23, 2018 Inside Europe: Czechs debate same-sex marriage
“The Czech parliament has begun debating a bill to allow same-sex
marriage.” It the bill becomes law, the Czech Republic will become “the first
former eastern bloc country” to legalize same-sex marriage.
Straights
ame-Sex Looks Forward to
“Just like” Scenario: Domestic Battleground, Divorce
Women
November 23, 2018 Inside Europe: Divorce bill sparks protests in Italy
Women in Italy “are up in arms at a proposed new divorce law” they say
would turn the clock back 50 years on women’s rights “and put victims of
domestic violence in grave danger. The bill, put forward by a conservative
lawmaker in the country’s populist coalition government, is being presented a
way to promote co-parenting in divorce.
DW November 24, 2018 Italian feminist activists take on the government
Law drafted by Simone Pillon a “sets out to fundamentally reform Italy’s
family law, a main part of which is to compel family mediation. Pillon reportedly says the law “is based on”
what is believed to be a vital need of making sure that “familial conflict does
not reach the court…; making sure that families, fathers and mothers, reach an
agreement on how to manage the children before going to court.”
Tania La Tella, 20-year veteran volunteer drop-in center, 24-hour help
line for women looking to escape domestic violence said Pillon’s law questions
the “fundamental idea of divorce”; and its enactment would mean that “obstacles
for women facing violence would simply multiply, including from an economic
perspective.”
2018 China
“Tan Jingjing’s son went missing after her divorce (and) she believes
her ex-husband sold (the boy) to traffickers.”
For years she looked for her son
and finally “tracked him down to a village” in China and “has been desperately
trying to enlist the help of the authorities and the police.”
Men
2012 New Jersey
“For nearly seven weeks, John Waldorf has been in the county jail on a ‘non-support’
charge for allegedly failing to pay alimony.… The alimony payments are in
addition to about $100,000 in legal fees incurred during the divorce process.”
2018 Rome, Italy
“Gian Ettore Gassani, president of the Italian association of
matrimonial lawyers, said: ‘There are four million separated men in Italy and a
million of them are going hungry. Divorce can mean dying here.’”
“The latest accommodation aimed at ‘the new poor’ was opened in Tor San
Lorenzo, near Rome.”
Sources
ProCon
“Should Gay Marriage Be Legal?” https://gaymarriage.procon.org/
“Background of the Issue ‘Should Gay Marriage Be Legal?’”
https://gaymarriage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=006275
“Same-Sex Marriage in the World Today”
Founded in 2004, its official mission to promote “critical thinking,
education and informed citizenship by presenting controversial issues in a straightforward,
nonpartisan, and primarily pro-con format,” ProCon.org, according to its
website is “a 501(c)(3) nonprofit nonpartisan public charity that provides professionally-researched
pro, con, and related information on more than 50 controversial issues from gun
control and death penalty to illegal immigration and alternative energy.”
https://www.procon.org/about-us.php#overview
ProCon.org is a 501(c)(3) public charity supported by your donations, 233
Wilshire Blvd., Suite 200, Santa Monica, CA 90401
Deutsche Welle (DW) Rob Cameron reports: “There was no time to debate
the amendment” to allow gay couples to get married, not just form civil
partnerships; but the amendment “must be considered by the end of the year.” https://www.dw.com/en/inside-europe-gay-marriage-and-the-czech-republic/av-46122579
Deutsche Welle (DW) Rob Cameron reports from Prague November 23, 2018 https://www.dw.com/en/inside-europe-czechs-debate-same-sex-marriage/av-46422866
Deutsche Welle (DW) Megan Williams reports November 23, 2018 https://www.dw.com/en/inside-europe-divorce-bill-sparks-protests-in-italy/av-46422868
Deutsche Welle (DW) Ylenia Gostoli reports from Rome, November 24, 2018
https://www.dw.com/en/italian-feminist-activists-take-on-the-government/a-46423924
NY.com “Man sits in jail while unable to pay alimony that exceeds his
income” Lillian Shupe December 7, 2012 https://www.nj.com/hunterdon-county-democrat/index.ssf/2012/12/divorcee_sits_in_jail_while_ua.html
The Times UK “First hostel opens for men homeless after divorce” Tom
Kington from Rome January 15 2018, https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/italian-husbands-left-homeless-by-divorce-judges-9p37ctg7f
Deutsche Welle (DW) “‘Give Me My Child Back!’ A Report by Mathias
Bölinger” November 3, 2018 https://www.dw.com/en/give-me-my-child-back/av-46142003
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